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According to numerous surveys, women rank confidence as one of the top men’s qualities. At the same time, excessive self-assurance or arrogance is listed as the major turn-off. Although there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, women can tell one from the other at once. Many guys often cross that line and ruin their first dates. If you don’t want to come across as cocky, you need to know the difference between being arrogant and being confident.
Confidence
There are certain characteristics and behavior patterns that allow a woman to understand that she is dealing with a confident man. Confident people radiate positive energy and it’s a true pleasure to be around them. They have good communication skills and can establish contact with any person. Actually, the way a man treats others can tell much about him. If he can speak with waiters, taxi drivers, and other people who serve him without being condescending, it means that he feels no need to assert his superiority because he is comfortable with his own self. This is also a question of manners – the ability to treat all people equally, irrespective of their status, is a sign of a true gentleman.
A confident man can easily admit that he is not very good at something. He understands that he can’t be a jack-of- all-trades and if there is something he doesn’t know or cannot do, he will be glad to get to know about it or learn how to do something if he thinks it’s useful. For example, a woman knows that her date is a confident person if he isn’t afraid to ask the waiter about the ingredients of a particular dish on a menu.
Another indicator of a confident man is his modesty. He will never brag about his accomplishments focusing on how great he is. It’s understandable that this matter will be brought up on a date but he’ll tell about his success mentioning those people who contributed to his progress and expressing his limitless gratitude for their contribution. This way, he’ll shift focus from his personality and emphasize the importance of other people.
Confident people are said to be healthily self-deprecating. They can easily laugh at themselves and are not afraid of being funny. They have a good sense of humor and this is another indicator of a strong and confident person.
Arrogance
In terms of sense of humility, arrogant guys don’t have it at all. They boast about accomplishments extensively and never lose a chance to show off. They are focused exclusively on their strong points and never admit their weaknesses or lack of knowledge. It’s important for them to feel their superiority so talking in a condescending manner is their habit.
An arrogant man reveals his true nature while interacting with other people. Unlike confident men, a cocky guy will be rude to waiters and other attendants because it’s another chance for him to put a person with a lower (than his) status down and show his supremacy. When on a date, he will talk non-stop about himself and a woman will not even be able to interrupt his monolog. Even if he asks her a question, he will not listen carefully to her answer because he isn’t interested in other people. Since he thinks that his opinion is the only right, he will automatically consider a person with a different point of view wrong, while a confident person will be tolerant to different opinions and would like to hear and analyze them.
Another feature that distinguishes confident men from arrogant guys is the inability of the latter to maintain eye contact. If a man is interested in a woman and focused on getting to know her, he will look her in the eyes and listen attentively. But a cocky man is focused on himself, so he will look behind his date or shift his gaze to the people around as if looking for someone better than her. It’s not a rare case when an arrogant guy tries to belittle a woman to show her how lucky she is he is talking to her. Now that you know the difference, you’ll be able to come across as a confident not arrogant person and make a good impression on your date.
Hi there! I am Emily Evert, the owner of Emily Reviews. I am 28 and live in a small town in Michigan with my boyfriend Ryan and our two pugs. I have a large family and I adore my nieces and nephews. I love reading memoirs, and learning about child development and psychology. I love watching The Game of Thrones, Teen Mom, Sister Wives and Veep. I like listening to Jason Isbell, John Prine, and other alt-country or Americana music. I created Emily Reviews as a creative outlet to share my life and the products that I love with others.
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