*I was sent a free copy of Lamby in exchange for this post.
I’m not a mother, but I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve heard mother’s say something similar to “I felt like he wasn’t even listening to me – yes, I’m a mom and not a doctor but I know my child!” I know that type of frustration is common especially for first time mothers as it seems like they can easily be dismissed as paranoid and/or uneducated about childhood illnesses. Of course, sometimes the doctor is right and sometimes the mother ends up being right. Any mother who has made a Friday afternoon appointment only to be told her child is healthy and then end up in urgent care on Saturday to finally get a diagnosis and medication understands that frustration. For minor things like pink eye, strep throat or an ear infection we can swallow these small oversights and move on. When the problem is much larger, like a child struggling to breathe, these misdiagnosis’s or a lack of diagnosis is absolutely terrifying. In the book Lamby by Nicole Polidori, you read how one mother’s intuition about her sons illness is ultimately what helps her son finally heal after over four years of struggling with undiagnosed health concerns.
From the time that Dylan is born, he has a concerning, almost bark-like cough. His mom Nicole immediately is concerned. At first, they suggest that he inhaled too much mucus while being born so they suction him a lot and say that it will go away. It doesn’t. His cough is accompanied by choking spells that impair his ability to breathe. At some point, he is diagnosed with acid reflux and some of the doctors try to suggest that all of his problems are simply reflux. Though, his mother knows that vomiting 30 times a day, regularly choking and being unable to run without struggling to breathe is not just acid reflux (that was supposedly being treated). So she goes from doctor to doctor, even leaving state a few times to try and get her little guy some answers. Sometimes the doctors that he sees will look at the same test results and give her different answers, but none of them seem to be the right one, and none of the treatments offered solve Dylan’s problems. One doctor even flat out tells her that he simply isn’t knowledgeable enough about Dylan’s unique struggles to be of help to her. At first, this annoys her and then she realizes that if all of the other doctors who were not qualified would have admitted it like he had, perhaps they wouldn’t have wasted so much time, and could have gotten to a specialist who was qualified sooner.
Dylan’s mother is not a first time mom, and she was a nurse. So perhaps those helped her to recognize what was and was not normal for a baby or toddler to be experiencing. Yet, she doesn’t credit her desire to keep pushing for an answer on either of those things – she believes it was simply her mother’s intuition that lead her to keep fighting until they found a solution.
I think this book would make an excellent gift for any mother (or father) who is struggling to find a diagnosis for their child without success. It makes you step back and recognize that sometimes positive things do come from persevering and sometimes the medical “experts” are just not correct in their diagnosis. In the year prior to the final diagnosis and surgery that “cured” Dylan, the author counted 58 doctors appointments that he had. This really opens your eyes to how hard some parents have to fight and keep fighting in order to find help for their children.
Lamby is written in a diary or journal form and most pages are only about half full of text and is written in a very personable way so I found it to be a pretty quick read.
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Hi there! I am Emily Evert, the owner of Emily Reviews. I am 28 and live in a small town in Michigan with my boyfriend Ryan and our two pugs. I have a large family and I adore my nieces and nephews. I love reading memoirs, and learning about child development and psychology. I love watching The Game of Thrones, Teen Mom, Sister Wives and Veep. I like listening to Jason Isbell, John Prine, and other alt-country or Americana music. I created Emily Reviews as a creative outlet to share my life and the products that I love with others.
This post currently has 10 responses.
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emmy
Sorry to hear that you’re having similar struggles. I think with kids doctors push it off as the “paranoid mom” but i’ve heard lots of stories from adults where they get judged as being pill seekers or hypochondriacs, simply because the doctors can’t see or explain away their pain or symptoms. I hope you find answers soon.
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Hi Emily,
Wow! What an experience for that family! I cannot imagine 4 years of struggling.. then again, we went through 3 years of a similar experience when my oldest son was born. When they finally pulled his tonsils and adenoids they said it was blocking his airway by 78%… no wonder the kid had trouble breathing!
Thank you for your review. I will be sure to look for it,
Victoria
DenSchool-
Wow a 78% blockage?! That is definitely scary, I can’t imagine what it would feel like to try and breathe with your airway blocked that much. Glad you were finally able to figure it out and get it fixed.
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I imagine there are many parents who can relate to this experience and would really benefit from a book like this.
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This makes me crazy. Not that a doctor can be wrong. But that they will rarely admit to it. I think that the doctor that told you he wasn’t qualified was a rare breed. Most will tell you there is nothing wrong. There was actually an episode recently of Grey’s Anatomy that had this exact same thing. I know it is fiction, but they really handled it very well.
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I agree 100%. I think your average person feels like doctors jobs are a black and white kind of thing, where in reality it’s not always that clear. I for one would much prefer that a dr says hey, I really am in over my head but there is this specialist who is knowledgeable about this specific area so i’ll send you to him. Ya know? I don’t understand why it’s such a taboo thing for a doctor to just say “I really don’t know! But here is someone who might better help you.” – we’d all be so much better off if it became acceptable for doctors to do that. Most of us can accept that doctors or even specialists can’t possibly know everything, it’s too bad that they feel like they are suppose to.
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daisy
As a parent, I really want to check this out. Added this to my reading list for when I finish my current book!
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Sounds like a good book I will definitely check it out, even though I know it will make me cry!
It would be terrifying to know in my gut that there was something going on with my son, only to have doctors tell me he’s fine. I’m going through that now with myself, actually. I can’t imagine having it happen to my little boy.